So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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