her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
