i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
