My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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