i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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