If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
