Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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