this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
how drunk are you?
Several
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
