$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
