Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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