I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
