So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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