I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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