he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
