Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
