Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
