that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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