we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
