i'm lost and i look like a hooker
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
