I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
