The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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