I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
