Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
