He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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