She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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