Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize