why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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