I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
