I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
