she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
