Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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