Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize