I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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