we have officially lost it.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
