so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
