white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
