You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
