even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
