You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
