Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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