maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
