This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
