We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
