we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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