I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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