I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
