I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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