My friends, they love my intelligence
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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