addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
