I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
