the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
