Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
