I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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