Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
