garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
