I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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