Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
