good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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