nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Come on in and take your pants off
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