Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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