I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
