PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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