his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
