is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
