did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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